Listen here:
I have decided to write a post on emotional regulation in social work practice due to experiencing an implicit yet unignorable connection between: the impact of relationships between colleagues; co-regulation; and our feelings/emotional regulation whilst in practice. These connections were made through reading books by Bruce Perry, Bessel Van Der Kolk and Dr Karen Triesman, and through attending an 8-week trauma workshop by Jane Mulcahy at a time when I left an amazing and supportive team and entered a team where we did not have the time to connect with one another.
The training enabled me to identify that co-regulation was the foundation of effective team building, positive daily interactions and successfully managing high caseloads and emotive situations with children and families.
However, throughout the social work degree and practice placements, social work institutions (practice or educational) did not speak about the importance of supporting co-regulation between children, their parent's and their professional support network. Additionally neglecting the importance of supporting co-regulation between social work practitioners and colleagues. Therefore, the literature and course have been revelational for my personal and professional life.
What is co-regulation?
I am not an expert in neurodevelopment, however what I have learnt has been invaluable to my understanding of my own self-regulation and resilience, and the impact of self on the regulation of children and families.
Emotion regulation is a term used to describe a person's ability to individually manage and respond to an emotional experience. People unconsciously use emotion regulation strategies to cope with difficult situations many times throughout each day.
Whereas co-regulation is the process whereby one nervous system calms another, producing a feedback loop that is soothing for both people. Co-regulation is defined as warm and responsive interactions that provide the support, coaching, and modelling people need to “understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours” (Murray et al. 2015, 14).
Co-regulation precedes self-regulation; co-regulation begins when we are babies and impacts our brain development, specifically our emotional Limbic system, subsequently impacting our ability to self-regulate into adulthood (See image 1). However, we also co-regulate in adulthood to compliment and support our self-regulation.
Image 1: The three-Parted Brain (citation above)
The nature of “interpersonal neurobiology “(Siegel, 2015) is that our brains develop (and change) in the context of experience & relationships. It is therefore unsurprising that an individual’s “felt sense” of safety, relational health and capacity to be a productive member of society in adulthood begins with the quality of childhood co-regulation (Levine, 1997: 65).
For some social workers, we have entered the profession inspired to understand our own childhood experiences and family relationships. We may not have had the opportunity to develop strong and effective emotional regulation skills. Therefore, it is important for social work managers, educators and leaders to model and practice co-regulation in an emotionally stressful (and rewarding) profession.
Emotional regulation in practice
Regardless of the skills we have, social workers are often in highly pressurised, emotional, and demanding situations. We are often in very dysregulated spaces with not only families and children, but with our colleagues who also work with children (health and education). We are in spaces of stress, spaces of high distress, spaces of disappointment and spaces of frustration. Sometimes to the extent of being described as toxic stress. We are additionally faced with secondary and vicarious trauma through our work with people. Van der Kolk describes this as traumatic stress (2005).
Van der Kolk states that “at the core of traumatic stress is the breakdown in the capacity to regulate internal states” such as fear and anger (2005, p. 403). We are not however, taught or encouraged by social work education or practice institutions to co-regulate with our colleagues. Despite working in environments rife with dysregulation and with foundations of challenge, social workers are expected to be ‘emotionally intelligent’ and manage these experiences with little guidance or consideration that we, as practitioners, come from different backgrounds. Therefore, co-regulation, to me, appears to be an essential skill which needs to be mastered and nurtured as a social worker.
Regulating emotions at the individual level (self-regulation) has been linked to better-quality communication, physiological health, psychological well-being and work performance (Lawrence et al., 2011). Regulating emotions at the interpersonal level (co-regulation) is associated with higher service quality and better negotiation outcomes (Cȏté et al., 2013), positive service user affect, higher perceptions of trust and friendship, and more positive perceptions of friendship with colleagues (Niven et al., 2012).
Personal reflections
I have worked in two very contrasting teams in the past two years as a social worker working with children and families. One where colleagues and managers were supportive: they would find the time and space to discuss difficult experiences, they would invest in our relationships, and they would hold highly emotional spaces for one another. In contrast, the other team rarely communicated, there was a lack of relationship building, peer support was not encouraged, and we were expected to get on with our work as this is what we were paid to do.
In the latter setting, my mind and body did not feel safe in the presence of others; managers were quick to shame if we were struggling or not meeting their targets, and they were quick to step away and point the finger if we were struggling. As Proges (2009, 2011) explains, my neuroceptors unconsciously detected danger in my environment and I felt emotionally unsafe and vulnerable (Porges, 2011).
Consequently, in the latter team, we would often feel overwhelmed with our workloads, feeling as though we were failing families and feeling as though we were not managing; we were catastrophising the situation and could not return to our baseline. However, upon reflection, we were not assisting families or professionals to regulate their emotions as we were entirely dysregulated ourselves. We were going into homes where families themselves were dysregulated, we were expecting them to find their emotional baseline, when we were not at our own baseline.
Image 2 illustrates an individual nervous system. The red and yellow section of the image visually illustrates how we were working in the latter team, and the green illustrates how we were working in the former team.
Due to the high levels of pressure and emotions, and due to the lack of support and relationships, we were often working within hyper arousal (fight, flight and freeze). I observed colleagues to ‘shut down’ and shut off from one another, I observed them become irritable to minor stressors and I heard how they felt trapped.
This dysregulation also impacted the support they offered children and families. When they dissociated, they were less likely to build strong relationships with the children and families they worked with, they would panic when change in a family setting was not achieved and they would fear the consequences of this, as opposed to reflecting with the family and adapting support to meet their needs.
Image 2: Polyvagal Chart (citation above).
Whereas in the former team, there was a strong sense of connection, we felt settled, and our workloads felt manageable, even if we were experiencing a spike in referrals. This in turn improved our practice; we were curious in our assessments, we would share research, we would help unpick family situations, we would support one another in identifying support services, and we would support one another if we had an emotional experience during a phone call or visit. Outcomes for families were positive and families reported, through feedback, that they had a positive experience of working with children services as our capacity to build and maintain strong working relationships were greater.
This contrast of teams highlights the clear benefits of co-regulation on our practice and emotional wellbeing as well as the lives of the children and families we work with. This subsequently made me ask: can we co-regulate in practice as the norm? Should co-regulation be emphasised in social work education? And should managers actively facilitate co-regulation in supervision and between social work colleagues?
The simple answer to those questions, in my opinion, is an astounding YES!!
How can we co-regulate in practice?
We as practitioners and students need managers and educators that provide warm and responsive interactions, who provide the support, coaching, and modelling we need to understand, express and manage our emotions (Murray et al. 2015, 14).
Practices which hinder co-regulation include shaming, blaming, nagging, demanding, sulking, manipulation, threats, unreasonable expectations, non-constructive feedback and passive-aggressive behaviours.
From my experiences, effective co-regulation can include:
Looking inward — When you observe an colleague projecting unpleasant emotions, take stock of your own emotions. If possible, tap into those emotions that are more supportive (e.g., being open, thoughtful, curious) and less defensive to help your colleague shift their mindset and emotional state. Remember, as a manager, educator or colleague, this is about helping and supporting the other person versus correcting and disciplining them. This technique does however require one to self-regulate to avoid reacting to the persons behaviour or absorbing their emotional state.
Provide space for a colleague to settle their active stress response — When a colleague is stressed out, they can be emotional and may not be rational as their body is generating cortisol (the stress hormone that impacts the part of the brain that controls mood, motivation, and fear). When you are calm and relaxed, and allow silence, there is a greater chance that the other person will feel less threatened and will see you are there to support them.
Problem-solve — Approaching a colleague with a calm demeanour, warm greeting (e.g., I’m here to help), and projecting a pleasant emotion can help lower their cortisol levels, calm them down, and enable them to think more clearly. If you are mindful of your body language, tone, and emotional state, you can create a secure and non-judgemental space for the other person to start to self-regulate. Once the individual is in a calmer mindset, you can guide them towards appropriate options.
Decide and implement action — Model a calm emotional state to help the other person shift to the same mindset. In this state, they will be able to make more informed decisions and implement actions to help them move forward. Once you've generated reasonable options through questions and conversation, support the individual in deciding what they will do next.
Follow up — Always follow up to see how colleagues are doing and show them how much you care about their experience. Your genuine concern is an important factor in their emotional well-being (Howatt, 2021).
Meet them at and hold their space— A willingness to absorb the rage of a furious colleague when they feel that they have been given unfair feedback or are angry at themselves, models the self-restraint they need (Cozolino, 2006).
Skills work— Engage in a 10-second breathing exercise, which involves inhaling for three counts and out for seven counts. Sharing techniques such as stress balls, moving, and reading out loud. These skills can help your colleague de-escalate when they’re in a highly emotional state.
Small tips — Be patient and understanding; listen to music in the background when you work (and its not distracting for others); If you’re discussing a difficult problem or interaction, do so whilst walking together, the rhythm and movement is therapeutic and will help de-escalate emotions; Do something mutually enjoyable and distracting: go for a cigarette together, get a coffee or get some lunch.
Thank you for reading, I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog post. Please do get in contact if you would like to request or submit a blog on a particular topic.
Comentarios